Jacob

So like 2 months ago I went to the mall with this girl on my floor first time i had ever talked to her she is really beautiful but had a boyfriend.  We talked the whole time we were driving but she was really shy. Since she was in a relationship and in college she didnt really do much and i felt really bad but didnt want to do anything because i didn’t want to screw up her relationship.  She started to text me and i started to discover what was wrong with her relationship she wasn’t happy he had cheated on her and she couldn’t trust him anymore.  I helped her through everything and then she broke up with him. She then came onto me the 2nd night we hung out and things happened but i told myself that was it.  She then texted me the next day and we started talking and hang out a lot.  She did a lot of cute things and i started to like her but we are currently on winter break and i have a feeling that she doesnt want a relationship and it sucks cause i really like her and i just dont know if i should continue to go for her or if its a lost cause..

I got to college a little less then 2 months ago and the 2nd day here i met this awesome girl.  We hung out a lot and things were just felt like they were clicking but i was told not to get into a relationship by some people they i trust a lot so i told her that i had to wait and think things through and assess the situation and find out what i truly wanted.  So about a month ago i was helping her out when she was drunk and decided i wanted to date her it just felt right.  About a week into our relationship we were just in my room relaxing one night after hang out and had an awesome day.  She said she had something to tell me but she didnt want to tell me because she thoguht it was to early to say it and i insisted that she told me what it was.  She finally decided to tell me that she loved me because she just thought it was crazy how awesome everything was she thought it was crazy that we had only known me for a month because she said it seemed like she had known me for her whole life.  And me being me i bought into all this bull shit she was saying and a few days later i felt like i started to love her. Everything was going good until about a month ago she was texting this “friend” from back home.  She insisted that they were just friends and i had no reason not to believe her.  This morning i woke up when she did and she went up to do a few things and she had been texting this guy all day for the past few weeks so i decided to look at her phone and i started reading the convo and it just crushed me.  Made me feel like shit and not loved.  I went up stairs and confronted her about it.  She told me that she is confused on what she wanted because she said she has never had a guy like me before she said that i am so caring and loving and handsome she said that there isnt one thing that she would change about me but she still had feelings for this “friend” back home because she has memories with him and has liked him for like a year+ but she doesnt want to lose me either so i am making her decided between me or him i am pretty crushed right now but i want to give her another chance because even though ive only known her for a month but have really strong feelings for her but if she picks him idk if i will ever be able to forgive her even though she has had a pretty shitty life with boyfriends idk why i always go for girls that have had problems with other guys.  Its just something about them i love being able to comfort them and give them something that they havent had before but then i always end up getting hurt so idk.  She is currently talking to her mom on the phone trying to figure things out while i am on tumblr and listening to music

heartclosed-eyesopen:

Breathe deep and pretend there’s nothing wrong

Oh and one more thing I haven’t tried to text her prolly at least a month so that’s not why I feel this way I just felt like saying that

So I leave for college in 5 days an I have been so excite this while year to go and I still am very excited. Idk why but tonight I just have one of those weird feelings like something bad is going to happen or that I fucked something up but I havent done anything that should make me feel this way I have been working 8 hours a day for the past 2 weeks and still have been hanging out with my friends every night. That’s it just had to say something didn’t have Nyone to text. No one will prolly ever read this so ya haha. So I’ll just say this also that I have been missing a girl that I had a thing with right before summer and I fucked things up she was awesome and really outgoing and funny and I will never get a chance to fix things because whenever I text he she either doesn’t text back or doesn’t me fix things that’s all